I'm really really sick. I went to the urgent care clinic today, which was shitty. I had to wait for such a long time, and even longer in the actual check up room! When your whole body aches like hell and you can't swallow, that really is agonizing. They did a throat culture and took blood to test for mono. They both tested negative, thank god, but I do have tonsilitis, which I must say, is no walk in the park either. For my antibiotics it cost over $50! The steroids were only $4! Haha. Yeah, we don't have prescription coverage, so that sucks pretty bad. Yeah, I feel like shit. I need to get better before school on Tuesday! I need to go to every class from now on!
Being sick and breaking up with your boyfriend is like a double whammy. So, I went over to his house last night and laid it on him as nice and sweet as I possibly could. I was really truthful with him and explained everything, and he actually ended up yelling at me and laying a guilt trip on me. I said hell no, I'm not gonna take that. I know how I feel , and I'm not going to feel guilty about telling the truth. What is the point of having a relationship go on if it's one sided? I explained everything to him, and he knew I was right. You can't fight the truth, even though it may hurt. It was the best thing to do. It's not fair for me to keep on pulling myself away from him when he wants to touch me, and not kiss him or anything. A relationship like that is worse than having no relationship at all. I just hope we can still be friends. I told him how important his friendship was to me, and that I can't go on without it. He really is one of the most important people in my life. We've been through so much together, this being another one of those things we'll have to get through. I just hope he can be strong. I will always be there for him no matter what. I hope it works out with him, I really do.
So, I want to be single for a LONG time! I don't want a boyfriend until I'm absolutely sure that's what I want. I need to be free and see whats out there. I just wanna be me, and have fun with life for awhile. I wanna do whatever I want, have fun with my friends, keep playin guitar, makin jewelry, and just be myself. I gotta start with getting rid of this damn tonsilitis!